The captain really hasn’t been the same since the whole “whale bite” incident. I suppose if you consider the fact that we were about 3,000 miles away from any sort of proper medical attention when it occurred, this could account for the unfortunate change in his demeanor. We sincerely did our best though. First Mate Starbucks administered the recommended dosage of 7 double-shot caramel matcha frappes each day of the trek back to Nantucket. Second Mate Schmee helped to keep our spirits lifted with a nice pep talk covering some of the finer points of contemporary existentialist thought. Still, sad to say, this was apparently insufficient in preventing further inflammation of the captain’s senses. I fear his mind may yet still be affected by the ordeal.
